Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask why me? Then a voice answers nothing personal, your name just happened to come up.
My life has no purpose, no direction, no aim, no meaning, and yet I'm happy. I can't figure it out. What am I doing right?
Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love.
Don't worry about the world coming to an end today. It's already tomorrow in Australia.
I love mankind; it's people I can't stand.
I know the answer! The answer lies within the heart of all mankind! The answer is twelve? I think I'm in the wrong building.
Jogging is very beneficial. It's good for your legs and your feet. It's also very good for the ground. If makes it feel needed.
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
Decorate your home. It gives the illusion that your life is more interesting than it really is.
There's a difference between a philosophy and a bumper sticker.